The Box
by astradanvers
Summary: There is a box in Cat Grant's desk that no one knows about and no one knows what's inside except for Cat and Kara. Maybe it's time someone else knew too.


**This was supposed to make it up before Monday's episode and then after it when I realized I forgot but I've been working on other things and it kept slipping my mind. But finally it's making it up.**

Kara watches from across the office as _The Box_ lands on Cat's desk. _The Box_ is never mentioned, it comes out on late nights when Cat feels a need to dredge up old pain and still open wounds. On nights when she needs to cry over a child she'd lost but never willingly. Kara's always the one to return _The Box_ to its hiding place in the locked drawer of Cat's desk after gathering it's scattered contents from the far reaches of Cat's desk. Only then, after the older woman has cried herself to sleep does the younger woman move her to one of the sofas with a soft press of lips against Cat's forehead. When _The Box_ lands on Cat's desk and with the knowledge of who is in Cat's office Kara tunes her ears to Cat's inner sanctum, giving a slight nod when the older woman glances at her. This, whatever this is, has been going on between Cat and Kara for two months, three days and, Kara vaguely glances at her watch, ten hours, and Cat needs Kara. In minutes Cat will need Kara, she'll never admit it and she'll fight it but she'll need Kara and Kara will know it.

Without much thought Kara moves to her own desk, looking away from Cat's office. She knows the shades are coming down, the ones that rarely ever block Cat's ability to see her kingdom laid bare before her. If Kara looked at the wall of Cat's office though she'd look through the shades, she'd see as Cat came apart piece by piece before a man, who is to Kara's mind, not worthy.

"Do you know what this is?"

"How would I? This is the first time I've seen you since I was born."

Cat's sigh pulls at Kara's conscious, "Do you really think your mother came after you, Adam?" Kara can hear the hurt, the betrayal that she'd always suspected was part of Cat's oldest son's birth and later found to be true. "Your father, Adam, met me in his Art History level three hundred class, I was one of three that year."

"You're lying!" Kara balls her hands into fists so tight she's glad she's not holding anything.

"Like hell I am, Adam," Cat yells back and Kara thanks Rao for glass thick enough to block sound. "I was twenty-two, a junior and craving for anything that vaguely resembled affection. Your father offered it, I accepted. I didn't know he was married." Kara's hands tighten even more, "When I found out I was pregnant, I thought," Kara can hear Cat's tears in her quiet voice, "I thought he truly love me. That he'd be with you and I."

"Well clearly you didn't love him or me."

"Oh you silly boy," Cat says and Kara can still hear the sadness, "your father has made himself out as the hero, or the victim, of this story but I am afraid to tell you he is far from either. Why do you think your father had custody of you?"

"He loved me," Adam's voice is firm.

"He loved money," Cat replies, voice full of malice. "My parents paid him, to keep you, to make sure I stayed away from you. That's why I never visited you, because my parents took away any legal right to you I had." Kara is sure she can hear the sound of a tear on Cat's cheek, "But do you know what?" she demanded. "There was one person, one person in your life that kept me a part of your life. Do you have any idea who that was? Do you?"

"Why would anyone keep someone who didn't want me a part of my life?"

"I did want you!" Cat screams and Cat never screams. Before Kara can stop herself she's out of her chair, in Cat's office and pulling the smaller woman into her arms. Cat doesn't fight the younger woman's hold instead she turns into Kara's side. "I did, I did, I did," she mutters against Kara's shoulder.

"Ssh," Kara mutters, hands running gently through Cat's short hair. "I know," she tightens her embrace, ever mindful not to tighten her embrace too much. "I know, baby." She presses her lips against the top of Cat's head, glares at Adam over the top of her lover's head, "Sit down and listen to what she has to say."

"What right -"

"Sit the hell down, Foster," Kara growls at him. "You know nothing."

Kara sits down on the white leather couch, pulling Cat down next to her, "I can't," she says quietly.

"One of us has to and it should be you," Kara says quietly, arm keeping Cat pressed against her side.

Slowly Cat nods, "You'll stay?"

"As long as you want me to."

With careful movements Cat turns to begin speaking to Adam once more, "My parents took you away from me but they would not have their name connected to anything as plebeian as adoption so they paid your father to take you. I was forced to sign the papers that took away my rights to you. My parents have great influence and they told me that if I didn't sign I would never find a job, never be able to support you, to give you everything you needed. I couldn't," she shakes her head, "I wouldn't risk that, Adam." She looks at him then, "With your father you'd have two parents to care for you, you'd never want for anything. How could I compete with that?" She wipes tears away from her eyes, she hates being this weak, "If I had gone against my parents' wishes we-you would have had nothing, Adam."

"I would have had you," he says.

"So what?" Cat snaps, "You'd have had a twenty-two year old college dropout for a mother, a mother who could not provide food or a home or even clothes for you to wear. The hardest decision I ever had to make was giving you up, but I did what I felt was best for you."

"Why not when I was older? Why not approach me once I came of age?"

"Before you came of age I had no legal standing to come anywhere near you. Once you were an adult I was scared, I let you down so many ways, how could I ever expect you to want me in your life? In short I always expected exactly what is happening now." She met her son's eyes, "I love you, Adam, you are my son. I have always loved you."

"You said earlier," he begins, glossing over Cat's words, "that someone kept you advised of my life," he tilts his head, "who?"

Cat smiles, "Your mom," she traces her fingers over and around Kara's, "from the time your father took you home from the hospital she sent me pictures, professionally done or the ones she took at home. They came at least once a month with a small note detailing all the milestones you'd reached."

"Why would she do that?"

"Because she knew I loved you as much as she did." Cat stands, Kara letting her go almost reluctantly, and moves to her desk, bringing back _The Box_ and handing it to Adam, "See for yourself," she tell him. She moves out to the balcony quietly.

Once Cat is outside Kara stands as well, "She blames herself every day for what she did to you, even though she still thinks it was the right decision. Her love for you may have been invisible, Adam, but it was there. She is your mother, her love will always be there."

Adam sighs, "How can you love her so much, so truly?"

"You have a brother, did you know?" she says, "And watching her with him I see what she wanted you to have. She couldn't give you what she wanted but she did what she could." She tilts her head, "Do you know that when all that information was being leaked a few months back she was going to step down? She was going to give up CatCo," she says carefully, "for you."

"For me?" he questions, confused.

"If she couldn't be a part of your life, she wanted you to have a normal life. The man behind the email hack planned to take that from you. Cat, your mother, wouldn't allow that." She nods to _The Box_ , "Have a look then make your decision on how you want your relationship with her to go."

Cat looks up when Kara steps onto the balcony, "What did you say to him?"

"Things he needed to hear," Kara says taking Cat into her arms.

"How can you be sure?"

Kara glances into the office, "He's coming this way."

Cat turns to the door just as Adam steps outside, "Maybe," he says, "maybe we could have dinner tonight and talk?"

"I'd like that," Cat says with a smile.


End file.
